Many men who have sex with men (MSM) get referred to me by their straight therapists. Holding my books and other coming-out literature in their hands, they explain that their therapists have tried to help them come out. But since they say they are not gay, their therapist has sent them to me to assess their true orientation.
I have seen hundreds of heterosexual men come to my office with same-sex behaviors worried that they might be gay. However I have always been able to help these men distinguish between their organic, innate sexual and romantic orientation as well as their sexual preferences. I have always known that straight men can have sex with other men and not be gay. However that concept makes people very anxious. Some think the behavior itself defines a gay orientation. Others—particularly gays and lesbians—understandably worry that it will be used to show that people can go from gay to straight. The reality is that from the start these SMSM’s are not gay and now we have research to prove it.
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